Total Recall (2012)

Matthias: Mr. Hauser, What is it you want?
Doug Quaid: I want to help you.
Matthias: That is not the only reason you are here.
Doug Quaid: I want to remember.
Matthias: Why?
Doug Quaid: So I can be myself, be who I was.
Matthias: It is each man's quest to find out who he truly is, but the answer to that lies in the present, not in the past. As it is for all of us.
Doug Quaid: But the past tells us who we've become.
Matthias: The past is a construct of the mind. It blinds us. It fools us into believing it. But the heart wants to live in the present. Look there. You'll find your answer.

[source: http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0321309/quotes]

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The result of 'taking a few steps' so far...

"Above all, I focus on moving forward- with new ideas, new challenges, new sources of energy.  That way, I don't have time for pessimism to take root.  The biggest enemy to optimism: standing still.  So watch what happens when you take a few steps.  Much of life's satisfaction comes not from looking behind you, but rather from getting jazzed about what's waiting up ahead" [Dr. Oz in Good Life Magazine, March/April 2014].

I do feel optimistic and happy when I take a step to try something new (or scary!) and remain open to possibilities.  I very much enjoyed my first ice skating adventure yesterday courtesy of Jude.  I am also thrilled with home life sans television and the internet.  So far, I've found more time to read and I am excited to spend more time creating as well.  [Read: watch out for pictures of my 'art,' which typically involves paintings of various people or critters that look like they've been exposed to the nuclear pond outside Mr. Burns's plant in Springfield].

Evenings have also been spent tending to my kombucha 'mother' who I am very proud to report is growing two children of her own.  It's simultaneously disgusting and amazing.  Try to imagine a foot-diameter flat disc of pancake with two pancakes growing underneath of similar size.  I'll work on taking new pictures of mother and baby when Melanie can help as it's a two person job, but here's a bit of a visual from someone else's family:


Actually, it also reminds me of Grands' flaky biscuits though this person's mother seems to be moldy, which is not a good thing (on any level...):



On the bright side, I'm pretty confident I have not yet grown any cutaneous anthrax (relax, it's the most treatable kind...).  On the not so bright side, I think I might have to slow down my own consumption before the acidic nature of the tea feeds on my tooth enamel.  Eh hem.

My next challenge is to read about and start growing more of our own herbs, vegetables, and fruits in keeping with my desire to be a 'self-serve' household.  While I could say that this will be difficult because we have limited outdoor space, the truth is that it will be difficult because I often lack the patience and precision required to cultivate life.  Yeah...that didn't sound very good, but it's true.  I've already killed a basil plant and watched my cilantro and kale seeds get pummeled by the recent rains.I think I may have to volunteer with some experts this summer to get the hang of things (e.g., Friendly Farm in Iowa City).

After finishing "Chickens in the Road," it's also clear to me that I need to learn how to can and dehydrate.  I've been making my own 'freezer jelly' recently, but realized that doesn't protect my efforts in the event of a power loss.  My 'jellies' and 'sauces' so far are always only cooked down fruit and spices, but they look like the 'real thing.'  [Note to self: I really need to be less lazy and start taking pictures of what I produce.]  The most recent one looks just like commercial raspberry jam, but is actually just 2 bags of frozen raspberries cooked down with one paw paw, cinnamon, clove, and nutmeg.  The paw paw, if you're not familiar, is a mango-like fruit that can and is being grown in Iowa to produce more 'tropical' fruit of local origin:


They are very tasty lightly thawed (think mango-orange frozen custard), but are also excellent as a textural sweetener in jam.  I'm thankful that a student introduced me to them.  She was doing her 'individual change project' to eat locally for Sociology of the Environment and mentioned the fruit in class.  She ordered hers from the Iowa Valley Food Co-Op and I was able to find them at New Pioneer Food Co-Op.  My 'cranberry sauce' for the holidays is another 'fruit-only' version of the holiday classic.  I cook down one orange, one bag of frozen cranberries, one bag of frozen pineapple, and the typical spices.  Once it's amenable, I squish the daylights out of the cranberries and let the whole thing perk until it's gelatinous.  I add a chopped apple after the sauce is cooked (and you can top it with walnuts then, too).  No sugar needed in my opinion, but then again I'm also comfortable drinking kombucha tea with a ph barely suitable for human consumption so my taste buds could be a bit skewed.  :)

Whew.  I'm (long) winded.  More on our household food choices and changes soon.  Betcha' can't wait....  :)  B.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Pretty sure "Wall-E" was meant to be a cautionary tale rather than something to which we aspire...

I will be returning an entire rolling suitcase full of power cords, cable boxes, modems, etc. today as we disconnect our cable and internet service at home.  Passenger's 'Scare Away the Dark' is a good mantra for what I'll call our experiment in the 'consciously unconsuming' of technology.  :)

Don't get me wrong- Facebook is amazing for keeping in touch when it's the only option, but many nights and weekends I'd prefer to just go spend time with folks rather than experiencing them 'virtually.'  I'd also prefer to start creating (e.g., painting) and growing (e.g., fruits, veggies, and my kombucha) in my free time again rather than watching television shows to 'zone out' or 'de-stress' after teaching.

I feel like part of my goal for the next year is to question how I live and who benefits from the systems I participate in.  Does the technology feed my soul or does it feed the coffers of the corporations producing and marketing it?  We are encouraged to abandoned working phones (even to intentionally drop them in a toilet in order to take advantage of a faster 'free phone upgrade'), but doing so benefits producers/providers of the technology at the expense of people in the 'Global South' who receive our e-waste.  [And then there's the whole other can of worms related to stripping the Earth of rare minerals to produce our gadgets.]  While there are some alternatives, it seems the best approach is to use our power as individuals to change our demand for goods and services.

Disconnecting from cable and the internet at home is my attempt to live in a manner more consistent with what I believe (and with what I've been preaching in class).  We will still be using our existing digital devices.  I'll also still be connected to a computer screen with this blog (no, the irony of a blog diatribe on technology is not lost on me!), which I've chosen over keeping a paper journal largely for professional reasons.  My hope, however, is to see a lot more of you in person (or hear your voice on the phone), to rekindle my childhood love affair with the public library, to foster my own creativity, and maybe even to learn some new skills.  :)  B.

Friday, April 18, 2014

We're pregnant...home brew style!

I love horror movies.  Total case of classical conditioning.  I got to stay up late on Friday nights growing up.  What was on television late on Friday nights?  Horror movies.  Hence, I love horror movies.

"Psycho" is definitely a classic and my favorite parts were always the creepy shots of 'mother' in the rocking chair in the highest window.  Now that I've gotten into home brewing of kombucha (booch, for short), I can totally understand how my friend, Sal, from the Co-op ended up with a sketch of a booch 'mother' in a rocking chair in the highest window of a creepy house: Mother takes a lot of work and she is creepy!

Here's what she looks like:



She actually covers the entire surface area of this 2.5 gallon spigot jug (you can see the space between her and the jar on the edge).  The heavier white circle is actually her new baby growing underneath.  [Shiver.]

How did I get into growing a mess of fermented yeast when I've already killed (truly the cold weather did that) a basil plant this spring?  I got 'mother' thanks to the very generous gift of Joey.  [Although I think the true blessing was getting to see Joey again!]  The new booch brewing hobby comes as part of my goal to spend the year engaged in individual change projects related to social and environmental concerns.  My 'booch habit' is not only a cost I cannot afford long-term, but it's a cost to the environment in that it requires the production and transportation of heavy glass bottles.  We always focus on the carbon emissions associated with travel, but travel accounts for only 14% of carbon emissions compared to the 18% associated with the production, distribution, refrigeration, etc. of our food.  [Actually, 18% is only the estimate for our meat and dairy production, so the true number for food and beverages would be much higher given that the average meal travels 1,500 miles to get to our plates.]

So, in thinking about how I want to relate to the world and what systems I want to participate in, I decided to try to brew my own booch.  Rather than paying $4 a bottle for booch from Beverly Hills (literally), we attended a class at the New Pioneer Co-op.  I resisted my typical urge to buy a 'kit' for home brewing ($250 with heater), did some online research instead, and came up with a 'continuous brewing' system for about $60 total.  So far, my new system has yielded 12 bottles (see below) so I should break even by my next batch!



Besides the fact that I'll hopefully (as long as mother doesn't get moldy, fruit fly infestation, or vinegar eels [shudder]) save myself a ton of money and the environment more carbon emissions, my new hobby has already made me feel more connected and productive.

I actually grew something!  Everything above I grew from Joey's lovely gift.  But I also am growing a spare 'mother' from a bottle of store-bought kombucha for a SCOBY 'hotel.'  I've learned it's best to have a stack of mothers in a jar(s) in the event of said eel/mold/fly infestation  [shudder, again].  She's pictured below.  She's much smaller, but she's still good.



More importantly, I actually grew my connections with people.  I met more people at the Co-op.  I got to see Joey again.  Melanie and I have worked together to maintain the temperature and health of mother and baby.  I'm happy.  Now as long as I don't poison us both, it's all good!  :)  B.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

To be fair...

The quote from "Total Recall" just happened to be the latest undeniably random, 'frying pan upside the head' sign from the universe that it was time to live in the peace that can come from following the heart.  My heart has said it's time to take a leave of absence from teaching.  While this might not sound like a big decision to many people, it has been very difficult for me.

As a result, I have learned a lot about about letting go (if only for a year).  I have learned that moving toward both my fears and my dreams results in growth.  I am learning to believe in the existence of possibilities for personal expansion.  I am learning that I deserve to be able to follow those possibilities without guilt as long as doing so allows me to be of better service to myself and to others.  I am learning to have faith in the universe.

I could not have written the above paragraph without what I refer to as the 'books of Dennis' (Spirit Junkie, Happy for No Reason, You Can Be Happy No Matter What) from our beloved friend.  I feel gratitude beyond words (and I have a lot of words at my disposal) for Melanie's support and encouragement.  I feel very fortunate to have an employer that is allowing me to spend the next year exploring solutions to the social problems I've been talking about for almost a decade.  And I am thankful to Jude for suggesting I keep a record of what I find along the way.  :)  B.